THE SENTIMENT BOOSTER
The market seem to be heading nowhere despite insurance companies, the mutual funds and the retailers pumping in whatever cash they have. Everyone is wondering what could make the market look up.
A top broker who talked to me has suggested the following urgent steps to revive the sentiments:
It should be made mandatory for every company to declare 1:1 bonus at least once a year.
Short selling should be banned and any one indulging in short selling should be jailed for a minimum period of three years.
The shares once bought by FIIs cannot be sold to anyone except another FII and the shares so sold shall attract a lock in period of 5 years.
A board meeting which does not have declaration of interim dividend of 30% or more on its agenda shall be declared null and void.
LIC shall purchase shares worth Rs.200 crores every day and would continue to do so until its corpus gets exhausted.
A new margin system should be evolved in which people do not have to pay any margin.
Any one investing more than Rs.1 lakh in the stock market shall get a tax holiday for 5 years. The loss if any on such investment shall be reimbursed by the state government along with interest @ 25% p.a.
If the index falls after the presentation of the union budget, the budget shall be treated as cancelled and a fresh budget shall be tabled in consultation with the brokers.
Any one buying shares of companies with dubious track record like HFCL, Silverline, etc. shall be allowed to set off twice the amount of his investment against his income tax liability under sec 80c.
The promoters of the company which declare loss shall be liable for rigorous imprisonment for a period of 10 years and/or a fine of Rs.2 crores.
SEBI shall not issue any guidelines which are not to the liking of the market. The official issuing such guidelines shall be whipped in public.
In case a company with a book value of Rs.30 does not issue a liberal bonus, the market shall be free to do so. All the expenses relating to the bonus issue shall be borne by the company.
Scrip that goes down shall be taken into account for computation of BSE index that day. Instead it will be substituted by scrip which has gone up.
A mutual fund shall give one month’s notice to the general public before they book profit and such notice giving the break-up of the scrips they intend to sell, shall appear prominently in all the leading dailies.
The banks shall extend interest free loan equivalent to 3 year’s gross annual pay to any one who wishes to speculate in the market. The banks shall simultaneously make a suitable provision in their books of accounts towards non-recovery of such loans.
All the listed companies shall be permitted to prepare two sets of profit figures. One for the audit purpose and another as per the market expectations. The brokers shall be vested with the powers to raid the income-tax premises, seize the books and manipulate the figures at their will.
Lastly if there is a crash in Dow Jones Industrial average overnight and there is a sell-off in Asian markets the next day, the SEBI shall declare the day as a public holiday. The NSE and BSE terminals shall telecast some good Sharukh Khan films to keep the traders entertained.
